Please look at my third draft and see if anyone could help edit it a little more. Thanks for the advice in advance. Phyllis

Spelling Bee

My father worked at the grade school I attended. Every day he drove the bus I rode to school then he worked at the school all day as the janitor. Sometimes, I was able to stay at school and play while he delivered the other students home from the school day and then I would ride home on the back of the truck, sitting in the center of the spare tire with the wind whipping my hair around my face. We always stopped at the local store, parking by the gas pumps to get gas. Gasoline, I saw that word every day, I listened to the adults complain about the price of it and how people were sitting in lines hours long just to get a tank of it. Gasoline was one of the most important commodities of the 1970’s.

It was the end of the year and classes were almost over for the summer. Our teachers had created a day of fun for the students to enjoy some reflection on our learning so they set up some fun math games, some science labs, and some outside activities and right after lunch I will never forget our class had a spelling bee, in front of the whole school.

Now when I say whole school, I mean only 65 people (students and teachers), so it was not a big group of people. I had studied and was confident but all of us in the spelling bee were a little nervous. The contestants were all the students in the fifth grade class. The words were the ones we had learned over the whole year and now here was the biggest test could, I remember them?

The stage was set up there were enough chairs for each of my classmates and I to sit up there, the rest of the students, teachers, staff, and some parents were seated in chairs in front of us like an audience. The MC (person in charge of the announcing of the words) was Mr. Brenton. Mr. Brenton was our teacher that year, he knew all of us and how nervous we were. Mr. Brenton always expected each of us to do our best even when we had not done great he was kind and encouraging. Nothing about his looks stood out about him but his voice was commanding. His voice was deep, and loud, at times that made him seem frightening to the younger students in the building, but once you became one of his students that fear left and the admiration for him took over.

Mr. Brenton spoke with his big voice into the microphone, and the speakers made one of those annoying squealing noises. The ones where everyone puts their shoulders into their necks and gets great big goose bumps; I hate that noise, I can still feel that sensation going up my back. Anyway, he introduced us all and wished us all luck. He called on the first person and she got the answer right. Everyone clapped, but Mr. Brenton asked the audience to hold their applause or the spelling bee would take all afternoon and he thought we all wanted to go out and play. Everyone laughed at that. The next person answered their word right and then it was my first time “up”. I got the word right and moved onto the next round of words. Eventually the words began to get harder and harder, it came down to me and one other girl in my class. I was so nervous. It was getting hot in the auditorium the lights that were pointed at the stage made our area even hotter and the words kept coming.

Mr. Brenton asked the other girl (April) if she could spell the word (gasoline) and she got the word wrong. My heart started beating so fast; I was excited I thought for sure I was going to win (gasoline) I read that at the gas pumps every day that I went to the store with my Dad. Everyday I read the letters GASOLINE, so it was my turn to spell it. Mr. Brenton said, Phyllis can you spell gasoline. It sounded like it took him forever to say the word Gas O line. I stood up with a stomp on the stage and said very loudly the word first Gasoline then G-A-S-I-L-O-N-E and spoke the word again gasoline.

I stood there with a huge grin on my face so confident that he would say congratulation you are the spelling bee winner. Instead, he said “Sorry that is incorrect. Please take your seat.” All that went through my mind is what did I do wrong? What did I say incorrectly, I thought that was right?” Absently, I sat down in the chair in front of all the school and did not know or understand what I had done wrong.

April was standing in front of me, her back to me and then the whole school was clapping. She had won the spelling bee. I lost. I left the stage area, went to the bathroom, and cried. I felt like a failure. I was so embarrassed. I just wanted to go home and never have to leave that bathroom and face my friends in the cafeteria again. I was a failure. I cried in the bathroom for what seemed a long time. There was no way to hide from my friends and the teachers that I had been crying, my eyes were red, my eye lids were swollen like plump raisins, looking in the mirror saddened me even more. I attempted to make my face look better by washing it with cold water, listening to my mom in my head saying; “sweetie go splash some cold water on your face it will make you feel better”.

After a few minutes in the bathroom and washing my face off from crying. I went out into the cafeteria where everyone was putting their chairs away and Mrs. Baker came over to me and congratulated me. She congratulated me to making it to the final two people in the spelling bee and told me she was proud of me. I did not think about it like that. I could only see that I failed, but that was not true.

I had done a good job, I had made it as far as April and she too had made a mistake on that word, neither of us got gasoline right on the first try. Mr. Brenton had switched the words on her last turn. She got that word right. I was happy for her she had worked hard studying, we had studied together at recess. I should be proud of myself, not be angry because April won the spelling bee. I went over to April and congratulated her. Mr. Brenton and Mrs. Baker asked us to stand together for a moment so they could get a picture of us. Both teachers told us how proud of us they were, and how much it showed we had studied on our own time. After the picture was taken April and I went outside to play for recess.

Phyllis...I think this turned out very well. Your beginning has a nice hook.
Your context at the beginning is very nice...can feel the school, hear his voice, etc.

You might want a little more build up to actually spelling the word, Gasoline. You could insert dialogue here...put us there..."Gasoline. G-A-S-I-L-I-N-E. Gasoline." I stoo there, with a huge grin on my face, .... I know you say basically the same thing--and you have dialogue after this point, but I would start it with you at the microphone.

There are some run-ons, Phyllis...don't want to harp on this, as you are still getting the story down. Just read it over just for punctuation...a few comma splices.

Very good relatable story! My word was calendar. "C-A-L-E-N-D-E-R, Calendar."...and my best friend Kathy Link spelled it right and won the spelling bee. I was devastated. When I taught fourth grade, I would always share this story with my class.

laura

Laura,
For my clarification, should I start the story with me at the microphone spelling Gasoline, or is that more when the contest is going on?